Hello dear friend,
Here we are in the last month of 2023, and the holiday season. December can be a month of stress for many people with demands and expectations that can run high, as well as having little space and time for reflection and self care. So, remember there is no place greater than in nature to nourish ourself, and no greater place to practice presence and love together with others, for the body, mind and spirit.
I have missed the colours of Canada in the fall these last couple of years and this year the trees were so late to turn, it looked like the autumn foliage was not going to happen. Then when it did, it was spectacularly jaw dropping. What a blessed feeling it was to walk in it.
2023 was a year of big healing for me and I am happy it’s coming to a close. Both physically and emotionally, with plenty of tests, challenges, gifts and graces. Like so many of us these days. It’s a good practice to remember to breathe deep, release tensions on the exhale and stay connected to a smile with the good, the bad and the ugly. Being back in Canada since June has been full and fulfilling. Sharing time, love and presence with family and friends is nothing shy of nourishing. Being hands on with Mindful Necessities, creating malas and inspirational jewellery for people is always a gratifying practice and I miss it when I’m away.
In January I will set out again on a pilgrim’s path. Starting with an excursion that will follow the footsteps of Thich Nhat Hahn’s life in Vietnam to commemorate two years since his passing. It was organized through Plum Village and there will be about 200 monastics and lay friends honouring the path of our great teacher. We will visit Root Temple in Hue where Thay (teacher) started his monastic life and temples in Dalat where he lived as a novice and Fragrant Palm Leaves, the first practice centre Thay started in the 60’s. Since most of his life was lived in exile for being a peace activist, walking in the steps of his beloved roots will be cherished.
From Vietnam I’ll travel on to the Himalayas of India in time for Losar, the Tibetan New Year and continue studies and practice there until April when I head to Ireland to kiss Spring and prepare for our wonderful meditative experiential retreat May 12 - 18. There is still space and it promises to be wonderful this year, if you would like to join me, there is time. I cap my retreats at 8 people, not 200. ;-) Email me gisele@tbds.org or visit the website
There is a very healthy mindfulness community in Toronto, if you are looking for a Sangha to build a practice or would benefit from connection and support. One that I have been attending for quite a long time when I am in the city, is True Peace Sangha which gathers Monday nights at the Multi Faith Centre at UofT. The room is beautiful and it is well attended. Of late, there seems to be upwards of 50 people in circle. The energy is great. It runs from 5:30-7:30 and is broken into 2 segments. Guided meditation, followed by walking meditation, then sitting meditation, then dharma reading and ending on dharma sharing. It is a rich practice that invites our kind and quiet inner voice to arise.
Sometimes finding the kind and quiet inner voice can be a challenge, because the voice within can be loud and rough. The observation of this is also part of the meditation practice. Last Monday was one of those days for me. I had to remind myself to come back to my breath every 15 seconds as my mind would take me on one attention or another over communication with a loved one that was difficult. We are currently reading Zen and the Art of Saving the Planet. It’s a great book and Monday we started reading of Deep Listening 101. It was exactly what I needed to hear, and is so full of wise nourishment that I decided to include an excerpt by co-author Sr True Dedication.
Whenever we disagree with someone, we can take courage to hear them out whenever we experience injustice of any kind and feel powerless, it takes immense spiritual strength not to fall victim to anger or hatred. How can we help build bridges in a fractured polarized world?
Before visiting Plum Village for the first time, I didn't realize listening was learnable. I just figured you either had a gift or you don't – and I don't. But gradually I discovered that, the more I was able to simply be still and listen to myself, the more space I had to listen to others; the more I listen to the skies and the trees, the more I could listen to human beings. I got curious about people and the landscape of their hopes, fears, and dreams. The thing is, it's easy to mix up listening with trying to get our own point across, when in fact speaking and listening are two different things. Listening is a training, a practice. It is a gift we offer the other person, and it is a gift we offer ourselves: to expand our perspective and encounter the human being in front of us in a deep way.
In Plum Village, we train to listen with our whole person, to be fully present, for what's being said. The first trick is to follow our breathing while listening. Right away, we become an embodied listener. Paying attention to the extraordinary symphony of our breathing keeps us rooted in the present moment, and helps us not get distracted by our own internal discourse. Breathing mindfully as we listen, we soon discover that our breathing contains with it the trace of our reactions. By taking care of our breathing, we have a chance to recognize, receive, and embrace any reactions right away as they arise.
There is a lot going on: there is a person in front of us and their words, and there is our own body, breathing, and reactions. This is the second trick: to take care of the impressions of the other persons suffering, in the way it affects our breathing and our body. If tension arises, we release it on an out-breath. If the breathing gets uneven or short, we soften and gently release it. We don't repress any feelings that come up for us; we simply take note of them and embrace them, knowing we can always look into them later after we have finished listening.
The art of listening includes the art of not interrupting, the third trick. When someone triggers us, or says something false, the first thing we might want to do is to interrupt, correct them, and explain why they are wrong. But, in deep, compassionate listening, our task is above all to allow the other person to say everything they have to say. It is our chance to hear what they really think, in their heart of hearts. And, if it is painful to listen, as Thay explains, we protect ourselves with the energy of compassion and remind ourselves that we're listening with just one purpose: to to let them open up and speak out. We cultivate a genuine curiosity to understand their deepest fears and concerns.
This is the fourth trick: to keep our compassion alive during the whole time of listening. Mostly I do this by not focusing too much on the words. I find that the best way I can listen to difficult, bitter, or angry speech is to listen to the pain behind the words, to the feeling the person is trying to articulate, however clumsily they're doing it. Thay described the action of the bodhisattva of deep listening, Avalokiteshvara, as listening “so attentively that we will be able to hear what the other person is saying, and also what is being left unsaid.” It is a struggle for all of us to put our feelings into words, even at the best of times, and especially at the worst, when we've been hurt, or when our fear or anger has been triggered.
Sometimes, when I'm listening to someone who is agitated or angry, as I'm looking right at them, beyond their words, and following my breathing, I hold a question openly and silently in my heart: what's really hurting here? What are you really trying to say? There can be huge chasm between what one person means to say and the words we actually hear. The energy of mindfulness can help us bridge the gap. This is the fifth trick: hearing what is being left unsaid.
This is a great book and I always leave these meditation nights with a smile, focused, inspired and grateful. If you would like a community to connect with and are not in Toronto, True Peace does meet online on Thursdays. Also, the international directory of Plum Village sanghas will list practice centres and groups all over the world.
While away I will continue to write, for me and you, with an aim to loosen life’s knots and share treasures and teachings that awaken or unveil themselves along the way. Between now and the first week of January, I’ll remain dedicated to create malas, meditation rings, and talismans of engraved words to help anchor us home. After January 5th, the product in the store will be marked sold out until next June. So, if there is anything you have been longing for or would like to buy mindful gifts for holiday giving, visit Mindful Necessities
to you with love, a bow and a smile,
x Gisele
Thank you Gisele. I always look forward to reading your weekly writing. Enjoy the rest of your time in Toronto and have a Merry Christmas filled with love, peace and joy.
Hugs. Linda :)
Thank you