the only path to stop hate
is to see it clearly, without becoming it
Happy Sunday dear friend,
I hope this week has been nurturing for you as we settle into the shifting seasons. Happy Sunday is a greeting you hear me say every week. It’s something I love to say and love to hear, no matter what the conditions are. It carries a calm presence, a reminder that joy can be wished and shared at any moment.
When we greet another person with the wish to spread happiness, we affirm both the encounter and the one we are encountering. Coupled with a smile, it becomes an offering of presence, and an acknowledgment that, for even a brief moment, we are here together.
Whatever your native tongue is, whether it is hello, ciao, bonjour, buen día, ohayō, every simple greeting has this quiet power. Each one awakens the awareness that we are sharing this breath, this air, this moment of life.
At our recent retreat at Dharma River Mindful Living Centre, we began with a simple but powerful reflection of bringing awareness to our senses. When we see, hear, taste, smell, or touch, we recognize that the experience happens within us, but we do not become the experience itself.
Emotions, however, can feel different. Especially when they are difficult emotions, we are more likely to let them overtake us without even noticing. Instead of saying, “there is sadness in me,” we often say, “I am sad.” Instead of noticing, “there is anger in me,” we declare, “I am angry.” In doing so, we identify with the emotion and give it more power than it truly has.
Mindfulness invites another way. By recognizing that an emotion has arisen within us, but is not who we are, we step into the role of witness. We see the emotion without being consumed by it. This shift is subtle but profound. It returns our agency, steadies our heart, and allows the storm to pass without carrying us away.
Every week I seem to talk about living in tense and unpredictable times. All around the planet, unrest is present. These are our times. We cannot control injustice, one sided views, radical thinking, violence, or systemic contradictions. But we can practice to stop the hate when it arises. Hate will never resolve the problems of the world, large or small.
In each of us, the store consciousness holds the seeds of all mental formations. Which ones grow depends on which ones we give our attention to. When we water the seeds of joy, they rise up and spread easily, like a balm of healing to all they touch. When the seeds of anger or hate arise, they too have the power to spread and to poison our joy.
The practice is to give energy to the seeds we want to grow. When we hold our unwholesome seeds with care, the way a mother holds her crying baby, a clearer calm can arrive. If we meet the seeds of difficulty with fear, rejection, or anguish, they will grow stronger. If we meet them with mindful presence, they remain small and eventually settle.
This is not easy work. I often struggle with it. But the very practice to look and listen more deeply always leads me to kinder grounds. From there, clarity can begin to arrive. And with clarity, understanding can blossom again.
Last weekend’s retreat was held in honour of the Vietnamese Vu Lan Festival, also known as the Festival of the Hungry Ghosts. A beautiful tradition that invites us to turn toward gratitude and appreciation, sending love to our ancestors and to the suffering they endured. At the same time, we extend awareness and tender care to those who are living and suffering in the world today.
On the Sunday, we gathered in the two hundred year old barn on the land, a space steeped in history. There we shared candles, songs, and stories from those among us who had been personally touched by war. Among the thirty or so of us that gathered, many offered touching stories with tears of loss, of struggle, and of resilience, from the past and the present.
Such moments can awaken in us that remembrance is not just about the past, it is a practice of interconnection. When we honour the pain and courage of those who came before us, we open our hearts wider, and recognize it is not separate to the suffering around us and in us now. Gratitude then becomes both a bridge and a balm. A bridge to our ancestors and a balm for the living world.
The dharma teacher closed the circle with sharing a poem that Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh wrote after he got word of the bombing of the Ben Tre monastery, in Vietnam, where some of his students were killed. An American military man made the comment, "We had to destroy the town in order to save it."
For Warmth
No, I am not crying.
I hold my face in my two hands
to keep the loneliness warm
two hands protecting,
two hands nourishing,
two hands preventing
my soul from leaving me
in anger.
TNH
To see and know anger is not the same as giving it power to rise and overtake our better senses. When we react out of fear or hatred, our capacity for understanding is cut off. The actions that follow are often quick, superficial responses, bringing little true benefit, and even less healing.
But when we pause, breathe, and give ourselves time to calm the fire of anger, another path opens. By looking deeply into the situation and listening with the sincere will to understand the roots of suffering behind harmful actions, we can generate space for insight.
From this space, our response can be different. It will no longer be fuelled by reactivity. Only then can our actions lead toward true healing and reconciliation for ourselves and for all those involved.
Thank you always for your presence to read these weekly writings. The practice helps me untangle my knots. I hope the reflections that arrive in and between the lines nurture you with yours. I love to hear from you, and please feel free to share with others.
Don’t forget to visit the final days of Mindful Necessities jewellery and malas by visiting mindfulnecessities.com (If you are in the US, there may be difficulties completing a purchase online while Shopify tries to function with how to process the new tariffs. Most of my offerings are still duty free under USMCA. Please reach out to me if you can’t complete an order. gisele@tbds.org)
ALSO, a reminder for Canadians: If you wish to take advantage of our final melt of silver and gold, and cash in your old unworn jewellery, the deadline is Oct 1st. Email me for details: gisele@tbds.org
Until next time, I send you courage, love, a lotus and a smile,
Gisele
Thank you Gisele, these are powerful teachings to reflect on and to remember: our actions are our only true belongings.